african humuor life issues

Nairobi girls are not for the faint hearted… 

Baaabe…. you know those shoes I showed you last week? “

“Yeah.., “

He did not lift his face from the plate of burger and fries.

“babe… You listening? “ He grunted a yes from his stuffed mouth. ” They are still on sale,but at a 20% discount.”

“So,” he wiped his mouth with a saviette.”How much are they?”

” Two thousand five hundred shillings,” his face wrinkled as he choked.

What! ” the was tension. ” That is way expensive. You gonna buy them? “

“No, “ she shifted in her seat. ” You are”

” You joking ” he giggled.

“No am not. You promised me a gift and I’ll be happy if it were that” she poked the quarter chicken on her plate.

Ha.. ” He shook his head in disbelief. “If I do that, the essence of surprise will not be there. “

“I don’t care about the surprise, babe.” She extended bony hands across the table to hold his. ” Do you want me to look awful in that party we are going today? You know how bad girls can be. I want to stand out,you know, make you proud.”

” Babe, you get a job.. “he mumbled

“What? “

“I said, ‘Babe you got a show.’ “

” I thought I heard something else.”she took out a small mirror and lipstick.

You have many shoes. Just pick the best of them all for the party.What about the ones I bought you on your birthday last month? “

She stopped applying the lipstick and looked at him.”Babe, they were good but, ” she lifted the mirror to her face and smacked her lips that were coloured luminous pink.

They are out fashion. You know how I am fashion sensitive, Kev.”

She straightened the tailbone weave on her head and adjusted the bandana she had tied as a bow. She returned the mirror and lipstick in her hand bag.

He was looking at her with fierce eyes as she did all that but as soon as she finished, he continued eating.

“Babe, am full. “the plate looked untouched. The chicken had pinched-like bitings. The fries, well, we’re plenty. “ Can we go now? I hate crowded places. “

He was done with his meal. “Are you going to eat that? ” He grabbed the chicken from her plate and begun munching it.

Oh! ” She pursed her lips , ” Do you remember Sally, Salome, Evelyn and Joanne? “

He put aside the bone, “Yeah, what about them?

“We are meeting them at Pizza Inn,now.”

I feel sick, ” he rose from his seat. ” Send my greetings and tell them,next time.”

“Babe, I just told them we’ll be there! “

“Tell them I won’t make it,” he headed towards the exit and the girl followed.

“You can go though,” He turned to her, “I’ll see you later? “

“Babe,wont just come and say ‘hi’?”


My friend and I had sat on the table besides them. Eavesdropping may be a sin but who cares especially when boredom has reached 100%. I wondered how much their meal had cost, around 2000/= to 1500/= Ksh? Eating at Starbucks ain’t a poor man’s biggest strength.

“Woiye, ” my friend was moved by his plight. “That girl sucks the money out of his guy like a leech! “

“A guy must provide, ” I looked at her as I sipped the last bit of milkshake in the glass.

They were still talking behind the glass doors, although it looked more of arguing.

“I guess that weave on her head was bought by him. ” she looked at them and I followed suit.

“Hehe,sure! “

Nairobi girls are not for the faint hearted…..

“Jesus stopped being the provider for many,nowadays ” she giggled.

“Why spoil your knees praying when you can have a walking ATM and milk it dry? “

“You know, ” I pushed the glass away,“Easy come, easy go.”

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