This is a story of a woman with a devastating childhood.
Just like the many other unprivileged girl child raised in the slams of Kenya, she was unlucky to land in the hands of beastly men.
Let’s call her Rose.
She was born to a single mother as the only child. Her mother, a notorious ‘chang’aa brewer ( a highly concentrated spirit drink) , made her home in the makeshift ‘hotel’.
The hotel was a small room built with rusty iron sheets and pieces of plastic covers. The sleeping area was divided from the ‘hotel’ section by a sheet of cloth.
The door was a piece of wood sandpapered and hinged unprofessionally to the frame with a cardboard hanging before it . It had white writings on it saying.. “Kwa Mary Hotel. ” (Mary’s hotel)
The hotel was visited by numerous hopeless men who drowned their sorrows in a mug of bitter spirit traditionally brewed in unhygienic conditions.
Rose and her mother were the only two people who served the drunkards.
Rose was introduced to the chang’aa business at a young age of three years.
One day her mother left early in the morning to collect the ingredients for brewing the strong drink.
Rose was left behind at the rusty hotel to wait for her mother’s arrival in the evening.
Children love playing, so she went out to have fun with her little friends outside the hotel.
It was after lunch when two men, frequent customers, came to drink. Rose met them and told them her mum was away, so they could not be served.
The two men did not want to hear any of her explanations. They dragged the four year old girl into the hotel and forced her to serve the preserved chang’aa to them.
The two men, having been served the brew, proceeded to drink one after another. Rose was afraid of them.
She went and hid herself where she and her mother slept.
Sleep made her forget about the two men in the hotel. The two men crept into the room, grabbed Rose, locked the hotel and raped the little girl repeatedly.
The mother came back the following day in the evening only to find her baby girl severely bleeding and half dead lying on the mat.
The men had spent the entire night and day robbing the purity of the little angel.
She was rushed to hospital immediately and given immediate medical attention for weeks until she recovered.
Years later,mother passed on when Rose was 13 years old.
She was in form two. A blooming young lady with puberty on her heels.
However, history has a sweet tooth for repetition.
On this fateful day,she was walking home to her aunt’s place when seven men cornered her.
They grabbed her, took her to a maize field and raped her in turns.
Rose felt helpless and filthy. She hated men.
By the age of 19 years,Rose left her home and went to live in a town far away from where life was miserable.
She joined a church and become an active member immediately.
Her horrible experience with men made her distrust them, behold them in contempt and be rude to them.
She was rough, commanding and sturbbon, always wanting her orders to be the golden law.
Despite all of this, she was beautiful and elegant, hiding the years of abuse in her smile and laughter.
Beauty is like a magnet. It is hard to resist anything with a strong affinity to you.
A young brother in Christ was thoroughly stricken by the young lady and he asked her out.
Rose wanted to try something new, someone different,thus she accepted the date and courtship began.
They dated for two years and finally the young man fell under the weight of love and proposed to her in the third year of courtship.
Rose said ‘yes’ and soon after wedding plans were laid down.
On the wedding day things went as planned. The ceremony, the reception and finally it was time for consummation.
The bride and the groom went into the booked hotel, happy and jovial, until they entered their suite.
Rose sat on the bed, still dressed in her wedding gown, breathing heavily.
The husband, let’s call him Mike, was in the bathroom. When Mike came out and locked the door, Rose begun to panic.
Mike saw how uncomfortable his bride was, prompting him to move closer to comfort her.
She recoiled as soon as he took the first step forward. He asked her what was wrong but all he got was a jibberish reply.
Mike was worried, so he moved closer to the foot of the bed.
Rose recoiled in fear and took her heels into her hand as a weapon and begun to wave it in front of Mike,warning him to stay away.
Mike was perplexed. What the hell!
The more he moved closer the violent she became,eventually he had to sleep on the floor, cold and desolate.
The next day,Mike called his pastor and told him what happened. The pastor was concerned and called the two newly weds to his office the following day.
Rose could not talk or touch her husband. She was afraid of him.
They went through marriage counseling,trying to find out what was wrong with her.
Weeks before they tied the knot, they had gone for a counselling session in their church with the pastor. Rose had not given a slightest hint of her dark past.
Until now the ugly beast of abuse had reared its head. During the marriage counseling, she told them what happened to her as a young girl.
The problem was identified at last.
Rose, with the support of her husband, Mike, was able to recover from the sexual abuse she suffered.
Through prayers, reading the Bible, love from her husband and counselling sessions, she was able to let go of the bitterness, hatred and fear of men.
Now, Rose has made peace with her past through forgiveness and acceptance.
Sexual abuse is a rampant decay in the society. It can happen to anyone in any social background.
Not all men are evil and ruthless. There are good men out there. Life is not fair and some land in the mercy of heartless beasts.
Forgiveness is strength. Very few can do that and it takes effort and will power to forgive. That is strength.
Live life. Don’t wish for death. You are alive for a reason.
Your testimony of winning the battle against depression, anger, bitterness and resentment will be the pillar to another struggling soul on this earth.
Your victory is the ray of hope to those suffering in the darkness of sexual abuse.
Take the example of Joyce Meyer, she is a queen .
Be a queen.
Let’s support victims of sexual abuse,…………. There is hope and lots to live for.