life issues relationships

3 major ways to know if you are in Lust or in Love

Many have fallen victim to this blissful temporary feeling called Lust. Yes, Lust. Lust is the dark shadow of Love. Lust hovers in the proximity of Love, which is pure and holy, enticing confusion and falsehood to those who are not keen to differentiate which L is the real thing.

Ever had this problem,” I meet good and committed partners but i can not stay in a relationship for more than year because what attracted me to them stopped existing the moment the relationship got serious.”

Or the version of,” I have been in more than 3 relationships since my first breakup. I find myself falling for people who are afraid to commit, to move up to the next level or mistreat me. Sometimes they just leave me however hard i try to keep things flowing.”

Sometimes it is the classic statement,” My feelings for you are gone. The love between us has ended. Sorry. It’s time to move on.”

Last but worse, ” He left me with kids to feed and fend for.” or ” she ran away and left me to care for the kid(s) alone.”

The heartbreak derived from such encounters are very painful and hard to forget.

Therefore, before diving into any relationship with someone you deem worthy of your love, here are a few tips to help you identify if it’s purely driven by Lust.

You are majorly attracted to physique or beauty

For men are visual creatures, lust driven by appearance is common to them. In this modern age of make overs and dress ups, men are easily drawn into relationships because of beauty and the sole purpose of having and holding a showcase trophy ; but when someone more prettier and cuter passes by, the attention shifts to a new target and the old catch is left degraded.

In women, physical attraction varies from heavily six packed men to thin built types and whether the said man will color their girlfriends green with envy for he has eyes only for her.

Is he short or tall ? Bearded or with a peaking goatee ? Women often drift to men who can make their fantasy come true by sweeping them off their feet, defending them physically in the face of danger and above all be theirs forever.

These Lust driven individuals will always ask their partners to change one or two things about them to fit what they desire. In extreme cases, the one who is pressured to change may choose to undergo plastic surgery to enhance or remove some parts they deem ugly, dormant or unseen (especially the butt and breasts).

This type of Lust is one of the contributers of unfaithfulness in many relationships since, as a rule of life, there will always be someone much better looking, more attractive than your partner. Thus, going under the surgeon’s knife is never a guarantee they will stay or fall head over heels for you.

Appearance drives many lust controlled minds into multiple romantic relations of hitting-a thousand-birds-with-one-stone kind of thing. It never ends well. Bummer, it ain’t even possible!!??

You are looking for sexual gratification

Married people in the house raise your hands up !! 🙌 This is the part where ‘for better or for worse’ didn’t fully cover.

People are naturally driven to try out new things and experience the same thing differently each day and that also includes matters concerning sex. If they won’t get it from you, they will find it in someone else.

Sex. Let’s talk about sex. 90% of present day relationships are driven by sex and Lust has a way of distorting its image.

In marriage, one may refuse to dish out the conjugal right to the other for one or many reasons, causing the marriage to run dry in the bedroom department. Issues may be of medical, mental or philandering backgrounds.

Marriage or relationships built on sex tend to be temporary since expectations may not be met. One may desire pornstar-rated sexual experience, the other wants a religiously acceptable sexual practice while some don’t want it regularly.

A person driven by Lust demands sex against your will or will base the relationship on sex and everything to do with it.

You Control and possess

This type of Lust wants you and does not need you. The difference between want and need is that one shows an importance (need), while the other refers to the addition of an accessory(want) to someone.

Being an accessory to someone means you are replaceable and hold little value to them. Therefore, if someone wants you their main purpose is to possess you so that nobody else can have access to you. They can mistreat you and treat you like trash.

Some people put it as being overbearing or jealous but in naked truth , it’s called control.

You may notice your partner does not want you to hang out with or communicate with opposite gender friends in the name of not trusting you or them despite having assured him/her oftenly that there is nothing romantic going on between you and them (unless you are unfaithful, this doesn’t work for you).

At times, Lust forces you to compel them to cut off all ties with their relatives and friends so that it’s only you they can depend on. You feed on their total dependency and commitment . When they try something contrary to your opinion, all hell breaks loose and it becomes violent and abusive.

Survivers of these types of relationships come out feeling worthless and with low self esteem. Others feel guilty for leaving the controlling partner,making it hard for them to move on. Some are plagued with fear or hate to anyone who approaches them in the name of love.


Lust and Love is a touchy subject that needs to be carefully evaluated before committing to a relationship.

It is because of Lust driven individuals that there are countless single parents, divorce, broken hearts, early teen pregnancies and murders of passion.

My dear reader, be cautious with anyone who throws the word ‘love’ at you. Find out if it is the genuine Love or the counterfeit imitation called Lust.


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