Moving on is hard but it is no license to kill: Advice to those who find it hard to let go.

Heartbreak

Having your heart broken by someone you love is as painful as getting your bone crushed by a grinder. At times, men are so good at hiding the pain that you may think they have no heart at all. They hide what they feel in the name of ‘manning up’ and ‘being tough.’ For women who can’t face the pain, the resort to rebounds and hookups. Men too do that. Some turn to the comfort of alcohol. They crave for a momentary loss of pain and sad memories of the good times the two shared. The most important thing during a heartbreak is to embrace reality and pain. That is the first step of moving on.

When you cry your heart out, it releases bitterness, anger, and self-blame. It is even more advisable to talk to someone. For those with no close friends or family, talking to a therapist or online friends might help. Also, you might seek your religious leader for help. Besides, having a pet or an animal in such hard times is great. Talk to them and confess all the dark things you feel against that person. At least animals won’t betray or judge you. Best of all, an animal will just sit or play in your presence. And this is quite relaxing.

Revenge

For those who have fallen victims to gold diggers or cheaters, revenge is an attractive option. Take for instance a young man who gave all his savings to a lady he loved. He paid for her education, her apartment, and upkeep. Only to end up being dumped after graduation for another young man she met in the streets. Or, a lady who sacrificed a lot for her partner. She chose to stick by her poor man and struggle with him as he starts life. However, when he finally gets rich, he marries a second/ third/fourth wife or more and leaves her out in the cold. And if he didn’t marry, he is moving around with escorts and anything in a skirt.

Revenge is a dish best served cold, but it isn’t worth it in the end. The result of revenge is regret. For example, the man who hacked a 6th-year medical student in Kenya. He axed his lover for being distant and using him for money. He allegedly paid for her upkeep and university fees only to end up being told by the woman he loved that he was not ‘in her class.’ After all, she was a med student and he was just a common bachelors degree holder. Even after killing her for taking advantage of him, he ends up in jail serving a life sentence. She might be dead, but so is his future. Forgiveness goes a long way. Life has a way of repaying the wrongs done to you. Therefore, forgive and move on. Soon, their past will surely catch up with them.

Baby Mama/Daddy Drama

As a single woman or man with kids out of wedlock, you better choose your steps wisely. It may not be your fault that things never worked out between you two. Most of all, if you choose to walk out on your partner, stick to it. When you get married, it is unwise to keep in contact with your baby mama/daddy on issues that don’t concern the child. Stick to your lane. Single parents, don’t get married if you still have feelings for your ex. It is not fair subjecting another soul that loves you to senseless heartbreak.

For those who keep taunting and stalking their baby daddies/mamas, stop. You are probably the reason they quit the relationship.

adult art conceptual dark
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Therefore, stick to child business and stop trying to ruin the other’s chance of happiness. Love is out there for you. Broaden your search spectrum and move on.

Competition and Comparison

It is hard to kick out this habit. Your ex hurt you so bad that the next person who walks into your life suffers for it. You automatically assume they will hurt you the way your ex did. They cheated, the new one is likely to do the same. You become insecure and in turn, you lose them too. So, move on. There’s no need for comparing glass to plastic. No two people are the same.

Competition arises when you stalk. ‘Is the new chick prettier than me? Does he hold her the way I used to? What does she have that I don’t? Is he taller than me? He has no beard but a crystal of baldness on his egg-shaped head.’ There are so many things that run through our mind when we don’t let go. Furthermore, what was never meant to be, will never last. So, if they left you, it’s not that you were unworthy. It’s because they couldn’t handle your flaws the way the right person should. No one is perfect.

Jealousy

There was an incident where a man killed his ex-wife after she moved in with another man a month after their divorce. Another case is of a young man who received a life sentence for stabbing his ex-girlfriend a week after the break-up. Reason being, he couldn’t handle seeing her happy with another man. In addition to this, women are also perpetrators of heinous crimes of passion. A woman was recently arrested after pouring hot oil on a woman her husband divorced her for.

Truly, betrayal is one thing, but jealousy is another. In life, there will always be another who is better than you in every way. The only thing that they may not be, is you. You are unique. There is only one you. That’s what makes you special. Being jealous of another doesn’t help you in any way. A matter of fact is, jealousy is a self-destructive thing. Instead, improve yourself and concentrate on upgrading who you are. Go to the gym. Build muscles and stay in shape. Your future partner will thank you for it. Direct your energy in transforming yourself into that person you want to be. Moving on is the first step. Believing in yourself is the second. Third, is live happily. YOLO. Don’t waste your life. Move on.

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