Why dating a younger man or woman in Africa is hard.😩

A man dating a younger woman is no big deal in Africa. What matters most is the time period where she was born. If she is from the ’80s or ’90s well and good. However, if she hails from the 2000 period, be prepared for the toughest trials in life.

On the other hand, when an older woman dates a younger man in Africa, it becomes an issue. In African traditions, taking an older wife is like marrying a parent. Your wife will be much experienced and wiser than your youthful mind. Her chances of leading and influencing every decision in the family are high. This dampens the role of a man in the relationship.

Likewise, one of the worst punishments our ancestors dished out to uncouth youths was marriage to old men and women. This was an act of disgrace to the whole clan, especially for men.

For a woman dating younger man in this time, rules of tradition secretly apply. Most parents frown at the thought of their son bringing a fiancee’ with a year and above age gap. A person from 1980-99 dating a 2000s woman or man suffers more than just age problems.

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Firstly, your timelines are way off the chart. What you experienced while growing up in that period has no similarity with what 2000 millennials went through. You grew up watching Popeye the Sailor Man, Bambi, The Lion King, Mulan, Aladdin, Cinderella, and other classical movies but your 2000 counterpart has no clue who Simba or Agraba is. Secondly, your taste in music bears no direction to what the kids of this time grew up listening. This makes dating a younger man or woman harder than you may think.

Read Also: African Folklore Vs Western Fairytales. Are there differences?

The ’80s and ’90s were a time of soothing love songs called the Blues and gorgeous boy bands like Westlife. The 2000s music was made of rap, riddims, and music with violent rhythms that portray everything but love. The 2000s kids woke up in a world where wealth, baby mamas/daddies, and fame rule the airwaves. Tell me sincerely, how will the two of you rhyme?

Another thing is parental upbringing. I grew up in the nineties and my parents were hell on wheels. Ass whooping, death stares, and manners are what ruled the household. Every kid in the house had chores, even the 5-year-old lastborn. There was no maid to do your laundry, cook your food, get groceries, or tidy the house. All of you had to labor and earn your keep in that house.

Also, regular family gatherings were the norm. Every year you meet new relatives, some are like 5-times removed cousins or whatever ‘removed’ they were from the family tree. And all of you would dance to the music from one the best hit song albums of the ’70s and 60’s on the classic gramophone. Unfortunately, most of the 2000s kids are missing out from this ancient practice. With the invention of more refined technology and extremely modernized parents, younger men, and women have a different view on life than their older counterparts.

Read Also: Men Talk: I want a wife and a mother.

gramophone
Gramophone of the ’70s and ’90s. Image creator Filonmar, credit: Getty Images

Many were raised with T.Vs as their parents rushed to work or parties. They have nannies who attended to their every whim. Therefore, as they grew up, basic chores like cooking, cleaning, and shopping are beyond their ability. Due to their inadequacy in the discipline section, they become shitty adults who demand than ask. They become men who treat women like objects and women become attention seekers. These factors make dating a younger man or woman challenging.

The ’80s and 90’s kids grew up in world void of social media. The only media you could use was email and film cameras. Your family could take annual or countable group shots where everyone squeezed in to fit in the picture. The photos were placed in Albums with labels and the year. What about now?

Read Also: Chivalry Is Dead. The mistakes made in raising Black Men

collection of gray scale photos
Photo by Fancycrave.com on Pexels.com

The 2000 kids don’t need albums or films to capture moments. They have online accounts where they post very personal stuff for strangers to admire, comment, like, or put a heart on it. As an older man or woman dating a younger man/ woman, you may find this uncomfortable.

Your ways of preserving memories become irrelevant and too Jurassic for young minds. With the invention of smartphones, taking photos has been simplified 1000 times. No more hanging heavy cameras on your slender neck or the dirty job of developing films into hardcopy pictures. Everything is instant, everything is virtual. Though we have transitioned smoothly from the stone age, the old times are still gold in our minds.

grey and black camera on green background
Photo by Alex Andrews on Pexels.com

One more thing that makes dating a younger man or woman a hard task is priorities. As an ‘8os/ ’90s kid you have had the fun you desired. You went through high school and experienced the fun that comes with having the first love. Then you went to university, college, or straight to work where life wasn’t the bed of roses you dreamed of. Starting with the new relationship, juggling work and studies, and hassling for upkeep money. When this stage of life was dead and gone, you were lucky enough to get a job or be self-employed. Every day you have to get up, pay your bills, and save up for a perfect holiday.

Read Also: Queen of thieves

people in concert
Photo by Sebastian Ervi on Pexels.com

What about your young counterpart? Their life has just started and they want to have it all. They are at the level you once were. How then can you be on the same page? You want to settle down and start a family, they want to go out for parties or spontaneous travels.

Some aren’t looking forward to a serious relationship but a seasonal fling that goes along with the trends. You may want to save or spend money on something beneficial like a car, house, or electronics. However, your 2000 barbie or ken doll wants money to fund a lifestyle they can’t afford or blow it on social events, eat outs or show-offs.

black rotary telephone on white surface
Photo by joenibraw on Pexels.com

Bottom line is your timelines are different. The world of selfies, smart TVs, Makeup transformations, and online schools is no match to the black and white world you once knew. Heck, even the flip phones and the codes telephones are at a display in a museum somewhere! How then can the ’80s and ’90s grownups run with digital millennials in the same race?

Nonetheless, if you feel like you can continue dating a younger man or woman, go for it. There are always the few who are different from the common lot. They say love can beat all things, just don’t let it make you miserable. Date a younger man or woman who can handle your odd out-dated ways without making you feel ancient (..even if you are…😜😜😉😊😎)

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Comments

2 comments on “Why dating a younger man or woman in Africa is hard.😩”
  1. Another awesome post to your credit which highlights valid differences between two distinct eras when it comes to managing relationships.

    As you rightly pointed out :’There are always the few who are different from the common lot. They say love can beat all things’.
    These matured few understand that the intention behind forging a relationship should be driven by a sincere desire to find happiness. Any chances of successfully interacting with a younger person would required a healthy dose of kindness, patience, understanding, learning and adaptation on both sides; a process which must be diligently piloted by the older person.

    My humble personal opinion is informed by the fact that I believe nothing is impossible. Have a great day.

    Like

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